Third full day in Hungary (per Kim)

Sunday, Feb. 12, 2012 – We just had our third day with the boys.  On Saturday, we picked them up at the foster home and took them to a local plaza (mall).  The foster parents warned us that they might cry or be scared because they had never been in a big place like that.  There wasn’t much for them to do there and we were supposed to be there for over 2 hours.  We rode on the escalator first and they thought that was pretty fun.  It was a 3-story mall.  On the top floor, we went to the pet store and looked at rabbits, fish and snakes.  We walked around with them and rode on the escalators and in the elevator.  They liked the elevator because the back was glass so they could see out into the mall.  We had lunch there.  The boys wanted hamburgers which looked pretty suspect.  Aaron asked Adam if it was beef meat and he shrugged like it may not be.  It looked like a ‘beef’ product.  But they liked it.  Aaron and I decided on pizza, which was pretty good. 

By the end, we were all pretty bored.  The boys had missed their naps again and it was hot in there.  We took them in a children’s store and bought them each a little Lego set.  They were like bulls in a china shop.  They thought they could open everything and ride everything.  We could tell they probably hadn’t been in a store like that. 

We took the boys back home.  The foster parents were very excited that the boys did so well and didn’t cry.  Aaron and I were exhausted.  On the way back, we wanted to find a church to attend either that night or Sunday morning.  We stopped at one church and went in to find out if it was Catholic or Orthodox.  Adam didn’t really understand the difference and just thought we could go to any church.  He found someone to ask and while he was talking with them, I looked at some papers hung in the window.  I saw the words “Gorog Katolika” and thought this was probably a Greek Orthodox church.  I remembered seeing the words “Gorog Salate” at the restaurant Calypso and this meant Greek salad.  Adam came back and said that mass was at 6:30pm.  I told Aaron that was fine.  We could look later or go there if it was the only option. 

George met us at 4:30 pm to take us to Tesco.  This is the European version of Wal-Mart.  They have groceries, clothing, appliances, tools – everything.  I had been to one in Wales so I knew what it would be like.  On the way to Tesco, we saw another church and Aaron said that it might be a Roman Catholic church because there was a crucifix.  George said that we could stop on the way back.  At the store, we bought water, cheese, bread, fruit, wine, beer, and paper towels.  It was less than $20.  The 1.5 liter bottles of water are 46 Hungarian forint (HUF).  The exchange rate is 215 HUF = $1 US.  So each bottle of water was about 20¢. 

Interesting things at the grocery store –all the meat (chicken, beef, lamb, pork) is just laying out in the open air.  It’s behind a short glass wall so you can’t touch it but the cases are open on the top and back.  You point to the meat that you want, and the employees put it in a bag for you.  The bags are like the thin, clear bags we use in United for fruit or vegetables.  Makes me think how different the US is with meat safety, especially with chicken.  There were aisles of smoked meats from different countries.  Who knew there were so many salamis, hams, and sausages! Good wines are about $3-5 US.  Individual beer is 70¢ for a tall boy (16 oz).  Most of the milk is sold at room temperature.  This is fairly common throughout Europe.  It is only chilled once it is open.  If unopened, it can last for several months, but it will spoil in about a week once the milk carton is open.  The milk is found on the regular aisles alongside the juices.

On a side note – Both Aaron and I really like the coffee over here.  It is very strong and has lots of flavor.  Cappuccinos are very popular here.

We left Tesco and drove to the church we spotted earlier with the crucifix out front.  Aaron and George got out of the van to go inside and ask if it was a Roman Catholic.  They found a lady coming out and George started talking with her.  Aaron heard her say Romani Katolicka so he thought it was a good one for us.  George and Aaron came back and said that it was Roman Catholic and mass started at 6pm.  Since it was 5:45pm we decided to stay and wait for mass to start.  George and the driver agreed to pick us up at 7pm.  We went inside and there were about 30 people – mostly elderly ladies – and a priest saying (what I assume) the litany of the saints.  Several people were in line for confession.  The church was beautiful!  We could tell it was very old and it was very, very cold!  No one took their coats off and all the ladies kept on their hats.  Right at 6pm, the bells rang and mass began.  We didn’t have our mass materials with us, but we knew when to say the right responses.  After the homily, about 100 people went up for the Anointing of the Sick.  I assume this is what it was, because oil was placed on their foreheads and in each palm – just like the Anointing of the Sick at St. Mary’s.  Then mass proceeded as normal.  I had hoped to speak to one of the priests to see if they knew English, but they went out the side door after mass and George and Cornell were waiting for us.

We came back to our room, had a light supper of bread, cheese and sausage, and went to bed.  This was probably our best night sleep since we arrived. 

This morning, we picked up the boys again and went to a shopping center that had an indoor play area for kids.  Most people would drop their kids off while they shopped, but Aaron and I were to stay and play with the boys.  They enjoyed playing with the cars and trucks.  We colored for a little bit.  Then they found a toy ironing board and 2 irons.  They got the bucket of doll clothes and each boy started ironing the doll clothes.  I couldn’t believe it!  They were so careful and precise with the clothing.  I knew their grandmothers would be very proud of them J.  They did that for a long time.  Then Drew (the older one) started playing with the toy kitchen.  He found a little doll pan, put a toy chicken in, and put it in the oven.  He kept opening the door to check on it.  Then he spotted a doll bottle and opened the oven door, put the bottle tip in the pan and then acted like he was basting the chicken!  I knew his foster mother had done a good job of cooking and cleaning after watching all of this.  Of course, there were 2 girls in the home so he probably learned some of this from them, but they had to learn it from somewhere.

We left and went to another mall where we were just supposed to walk around with them.  I think the plan is to get them familiar with crowds and loud places before we take them to big airports and fly halfway around the world with them.  We only stayed for an hour before we came back to our hotel.  The plan was for us to have lunch here and possibly get them to take a nap. 

We weren’t really prepared for lunch, so Aaron had to run to the store while I stayed here with them.  They had to check everything out – our suitcases, the bathroom, the windows and curtains, the light switches.  They wanted to jump on the bed.  I was so relieved when Aaron came back!  They ate pretty well.  We let them play for a little bit and then tried lying down with them.  They just wanted to play, but we finally got them settled down and they both fell asleep.  I covered them with their blankets while they were sleeping.  They were able to sleep for about 45 minutes before we had to wake them up to go back to the foster home.

We took them home and the foster parents spoke to Adam for a long time.  When we got in the car, he said the foster parents were very pleased that the boys had taken naps.  Adam said that this meant the boys were very comfortable with us and the foster parents were very happy.  Adam said that he had seen times before that everything seemed to be going okay, but that the kid wouldn’t sleep at night so they would know that he/she wasn’t comfortable.  He said that sleeping (or not) was a good indication of how the kids were doing. 

We came back to the hotel and decided to go have some pizza.  We walked to a good pizza place about 2 blocks from our hotel.  Luckily, they had an English menu.  Most of the pizzas were pretty weird (clams, octopus and tuna…uh…no thank you!) but we settled on a ham, cheese and tomato pizza.  I had a small beer ($1) and Aaron had a large one ($1.75).  Our total bill was about $12.  We came back to our hotel, fell asleep for about 1.5 hours and skyped with Gus, Aaron’s parents, and my mom.  Aaron would have liked to see the snow in Amarillo. 

Now it’s almost midnight and we need to go to bed.  We’ll continue to keep everyone posted on our progress.

First meeting

Aaron and I along with Adam (translator), Cornell (driver) and Judy (social worker) went to meet the boys for the first time.  We thought we would have to go to the local ministry office first, but only George (facilitator) went to do that.  George said it was a lot of paperwork.

Aaron, Adam, Cornell and I went to pick up Judy at her office.  She made us wait for about 15 minutes.  Adam said it was because she was showing us that she was the boss.  The drive to the boys’ village was about 30 minutes from Miskolc.  Along the way, Adam and Judy were talking.  He said she was letting us know what would happen, but she seemed to be saying more than we were being told.  She would talk forever and Adam would say like 2 sentences.  The plan was to see the boys for 2 hours and then leave for a couple hours so they could eat lunch and take their nap.  We would come back to see them for 30-minutes to an hour.  They did not want to overwhelm the boys.  We were told that the foster parents had done a good job of preparing the boys for our visit, but neither one of us had much hope that they would show any interest in us, and might even possibly be scared.

We arrived at their home and it was very well-kept and a nice home.  The foster father met us outside and took us into the house.  It looked just like the videos and was very clean and well-kept.  The boys are living there with the foster parents, their 2 year old daughter and 2 other foster children.  They came up to meet us but then quickly stepped back.  The foster parents told us to go into the boys’ room where they would be more comfortable.  The 4 of us went in the room with Adam and Judy, and MAN, did the boys come alive!  They wanted to show us all their toys, which were mainly cars, blocks, toddler-size Legos, and stuffed animals.  They even had an Alf toy – when was the last time you saw an Alf stuffed animal or even thought of that TV show?

While we were trying to play with them, Judy and Adam were telling us about their schedules and anything else we might need to know.  Adam said that the foster mom told him that the boys had been going to school and telling everyone that they were going to have new parents and they would get to go on a big plane to America.  They have been very excited!  I’m sure we’ve had some of the same feelings -very excited but when the day comes to leave, there will be plenty of anxiety.

When we were leaving, the foster parents and Judy kept asking us what we thought and if everything was ok; basically, they wanted to know if we were happy with the boys.

We had a good visit with them and even Drew talked to us a lot, though we had no idea what he was saying.  We had been told that Drew was very shy.  We came back to Miskolc to have lunch and rest for a little bit.  As usual, Aaron had no appetite and I was starving.  I decided to visit the local grocery store, but first I needed to exchange some money.  I went to the local bank and it took over 30 minutes to wait in line and get the money exchanged.  I went to the little grocery store and bought some cheese, crackers, package of salami, gum, 2 oranges and a Sprite for less than $5.  Things seem to be very inexpensive here compared to the UK and France. 

When I got back to the hotel, Aaron said he was about to Skype with Gus before Gus left for school.  We got to talk with him briefly and see his handsome new haircut before he left for school.  I took a little cat nap because I only had about 2 hours of sleep last night. 

We went back to see the boys and when we got there, the foster mom told Adam that the boys had been too excited to take naps.  I thought “oh boy, this could be interesting!”  The boys sure where happy to see us and took us straight back to their room and wanted to pick up playing right where we left off.  Aaron played cars and trucks with Sam.  Drew wanted me to play on an overturned box with him.  He would slap his hands on it like a drum and I would mimic his movements.  If he quit, so did I.  If he put his hands out or to the side, so did I.  Every once in a while, he would get this little twinkle in his eye and put his hands up.  I knew he wanted me to tickle him and then he would laugh.  After a while, the foster mom brought them each a yogurt cup and said (through Adam) that they each needed to have a cup of yogurt either mid-morning or in the afternoon.       

Sure enough, the boys were like little American boys who missed their naps and they were more rambunctious.  I also thought they might be testing us.  Adam had told us that the foster parents let them do whatever they want and don’t really discipline them.  It’s hard to get in the habit of say “nem” instead of “no”.  Drew kept saying the same thing to me over and over and when I would look to Adam for translation, he would say “don’t worry about it, just play with him”.  After we left, Adam told me that Drew kept asking me why I talked like that – meaning that he couldn’t understand what I was saying.  I laugh even now because the feeling was mutual J.  At about 4:30, I looked over and Sam was sitting on the couch with his eyes half open, and I made the comment that he looked very tired.  Adam immediately said “Yes, we must go.  It’s been a big day for them.”

We came back to the Hotel Pannonia and had about an hour before we met George for dinner.  He asked what we wanted and I mentioned some traditional Hungarian food.  He took us to Calypso, just  a couple blocks from the hotel.  I had goulash (in Hungary this is like a beef stew) and Aaron had cream of garlic soup.  The waiter brought a small dish of dried peppers (paprika).  Aaron sprinkled some on his soup and George said “No, that’s too much.  It’s too hot.  Take them out.”  Aaron convinced him that it was ok but I did see him wipe his brow a few times while he was eating the soup.  Then Aaron and I decided to share a Greek salad, schnitzel and mashed potatoes.  It was very good, but we were stuffed at the end.  Then the waiter came by to surprise us with traditional chocolate crepes.  He poured brandy over them and lit them on fire.  They were very good!

Now we are back in the room and it’s time for bed.  We are seeing the boys longer tomorrow and I’m sure it will be a busy day.

Getting Regular (from Aaron)

Its 6:23 am, local, 11:23 pm Amarillo time.  Been wide awake for an hour after Kimbo and I finally fell asleep about 1:30 am, so I figure a good solid 4 hrs of sleep.  Kimbo got up about 2 hrs ago and took a shower and is now asleep? 

“getting regular” is the title of this entry because it is the thought that pervades my mind, for a number of reasons.   I know it is somewhat a personal subject, but when I am away from the house for any period of time, whether or not I can make things happen in the bathroom could mean the difference in a miserable time or my “movements” not affecting my movements during the trip. 

There is something different about this time though, this is the 1^st day of 45-50 days in which I will have to get in some sort of regular routine.  At this point I cannot fathom being gone from home/work for this amount of time.  How long will it take to get a regular sleep schedule, a regular eating pattern, regular everything, to make this time go by fast? 

Disclaimer:  I like my history, especially 20^th century war history, however, I am not an expert on Eastern Europe specifically or cold war era Eastern Europe. 

I have only been here about 12 hrs but my impression is that there is a big difference in the city of Budapest and the rest of Hungary as a whole.  I have heard that Budapest is westernized, one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, full of history, yet modernized.  That is not my feeling about the city of Miskolc that we are in now.  I can’t help but think of gulags and goulash,  iron curtain, KGB, the Berlin Wall, Communism and cloak and daggers, war games and Clint Eastwood flying the stolen Russian jet in Firefox.   It could be I am romanticizing it my own mind so that it makes everything more interesting. 

The city - Miskolc (Miss-kolch) - looks old, narrow streets, some neon lights and advertisements but not much, street car running every 10 minutes by the hotel, but not a soul around.  The hotel seems like right out of a World War II street battle only not bombed out.  The room has 16 foot ceilings and looks out onto a small city intersection that seems perfect for a cold war spy thriller movie set. 

The hotel lobby has a lonely middle aged guy setting behind a counter.  Behind him is the number of every room with a hook for the room key.  Looks like there are about 32 rooms and Kimbo counted our key as the 3^rd missing key from the hooks.  I told her that the guy probably took 2 off and stashed them just so we wouldn’t know that we are the only ones staying here.   The room is not bad, but there doesn’t seem to be another person around for miles. 

Kimbo was hungry when we got to the room last night about 9pm.  There are restaurants around but they are all closed.  I didn’t see anybody around at all.  She went down to ask the man at the counter if there was anything to eat and he told her he would be up in about 5 minutes with cheese and salami and bread.  That is awesome!  It was good too.  I hope nobody tried to check in while he was up here serving us the salami.  He might have missed a customer.

Today we will go to the local authority to let them know our intentions of adopting.  Then we will go and meet the boys for the first time.   This is surreal.  When will our lives be regular again, how long will it be before they are just like Gus in our family and everything is almost perfect as it was before we took on this life challenge?  Right now it seems like it could be an eternity.  So many things to figure out in front of us.  

Sleepless nights

Another night of waking up at 4-4:30 and not being able to go back to sleep.  My mind can't turn off with all the things that need to be done before we leave tomorrow evening.

Things like packing - I received an email yesterday warning us of the cold weather and that said we should bring lots of warm clothes.  I'm not a cold weather lover anyway so now my mind is psyched out about this and I can't seem to focus on much else.

I'm a natural worrier so my mind is going back and forth from Gus to work to travel to the boys.  I keep telling myself it's only 6 weeks of the rest of our lives, but right now, 6 weeks feels like an eternity.

1 week to go!

Oh, we are getting so close!  In one week, we will meet the boys and see them in person for the first time!!!  Aaron had a dream about them a couple weeks ago.  He dreamed that we got over there and one of the boys told us that they were in there 30's but still wanted to come to America with us.  He was so mad in the dream!  The facilitator said that it would be okay since they were still small.  LOL 

We are working on getting the boys' room put together.  Gus slept down there for the first time.  I'm anxious to see how long this room sharing lasts.

Bishop Zurek said a special mass for us, my parents and Aaron's parents on Wednesday evening.  He used the mass for the Holy Family, which is usually said between Christmas and the New Year.  He then gave a brief homily on the verse Luke 2:51 "...and his mother kept all these things in her heart."  It was a beautiful mass and we were all very honored that he would offer to do this for us.  When I get really anxious, I have to remind myself that God's in control and will guide us through this.

Home update

Our beautiful floors were finished on Friday and we were able to start moving in on Sunday.  It's nice to have a room again and get Gus back in his room (which will become the guest room).  Today, the tile guys should start on our bathroom and (hopefully) finish on Friday.  Cabinets are complete and waiting for counter tops.  After tile is finished the cabinets and tops can be installed.  The carpet in the boys' room (I love saying 'the boys') will be cleaned on Wednesday and then we can start setting things up in there.

We are gathering things for the boys.  We have been so blessed with toys and clothes and home items from friends.  It's amazing how much stuff little boys need - I've forgotten what 3 and 4 year olds need.  We have some wonderful things that we can take with us and that can be played with on the plane.  I bought some of the cutest little underwear (Thomas the Train and Cars) for them.  The wonderful ladies from my ACTS small group blessed us with a gift card shower last week, so we are able to buy them things later on.

Before we leave in 8 DAYS - one of the main things I want to get done is to take pictures of our home, their room, backyard, dog, church, the school, etc - all things I want them to recognize when we get back.  We are also encouraged to leave copies of these pictures with the foster family.

Travel date announced

Yesterday morning, January 26, 2012, I got the travel call from our agency.  We are to be in Hungary on Feb. 9th for our court appointment on the 10th.  This is the first day that we will meet the boys.  I can't believe that the day is finally here! 
I wonder what that first meeting (and the subsequent meetings) will be like.  Will they let me hug them? Will they have any interest in us?  Do they fully understand what will happen over the next 6 weeks?  I have so many thoughts and emotions running through me right now - which might be why I can't sleep at 4am :)

I also think of all the things we have to get or finish before we leave.  We decided to simply remodel a bathroom in December after we accepted the referral.  That simple project turned into
     "we should paint while we have the bedroom and bathroom empty"
     "we should refinish the floor in that room after we paint"
     "we should refinish the floors in both bedrooms and the hallway"
So now I feel like we are living in a 1 BR/1 BA apartment!  But it's all coming together and if it keeps going like it has the last week, we will be finished on Feb. 6th.  This should allow us to enjoy the new master BR and BA for 1 day before we leave for 6 weeks.  I hope I didn't jinx myself with that previous sentence.

On Wednesday night, we were blessed with a surprise gift card shower from my ACTS small group.  I can't begin to describe everyone's generosity!  Aaron was so amazed and thankful when I returned home and told him about the shower.  We will be able to pick up a few things before we go and save some of the cards for items we will need after coming back.  I'm so thankful for these wonderful, spirit-filled women who have been a part of my life for the past 4 years.

We have also been so blessed by everyone who wants to loan/give us things their own sons have outgrown.  I can't begin to thank everyone who has been so generous!  These boys will be 2 of the most stylish boys ever to arrive in America!

I am very humbled when I look back over the process and the friends I have made over this journey.  While the timeline shows a little over a year for this process, this has really been an almost 5 year journey for us.  It was on my ACTS retreat in June 2007, that I first realized this would be God's plan for us.  Drew would only be a month old at that time and Sam wouldn't be born for another year.  Through the ups and downs of the other things we tried, I look back now and realize that these boys weren't ready to join our family until now and that's why we've waited.  A simple conversation with Julie in November 2010 set us on the path to these 2 boys. 

Updated timeline of our international adoption process:
12/15/10 - First meeting with Little Miracles (LMI) in Amarillo
2/4/11 - Application accepted by LMI
3/1/11 - Adoption Contract accepted by LMI, begin paperwork
4/25 & 27/11 - Home study interviews
6/28/11 - application submitted to USCIS
8/29/11 - approval from USCIS
9/8/11 - Dossier complete and ready for submission to Hungary
11/29/11 - Received referral acceptance call and saw pictures of the boys for the 1st time
12/16/11 - Changed our lives for ever (better!) with a simple "Yes"
1/23/12 - Received USCIS approval
1/26/12 - Received travel call